Shed

Spent the weekend building the new shed. Last year we tore down the old one. This year we’re constructing the replacement.

I’m a hopeless amateur when it comes to serious DIY. Other than a bit of lacklustre school carpentry, I’ve only ever put up the odd shelf or pinned together flat-packed furniture. So building a big shed from scratch was always going to be a serious DIY challenge !

I spent most of Saturday hammering the floor structure together before treating the underside of the boards with a thick layer of bituminous paint. We then put up a few walls and spent a while cross-checking measurements and carefully aligning bits of wood.

Hammering is fun and I got pretty good at it by the end of the weekend. It was roasting hot and we were supplemented by a steady flow of tea and refreshments from the house.

It was fun and I loved it ! You can’t beat building things ! I also learned a whole new language of lump hammers, noggins, chop saws, ‘four be twos’ and ‘six be twos’ !

It was also the kids’ birthdays and I gave them a seriously cool remote controlled UFO and an awesome dragster kite. We even managed to get the UFO to fly higher than the house ! Topped it all off with a boozy barbecue Saturday night !

Superman Returns

Saw Superman Returns the other day.

It’s a big-screen extravaganza of the classic comic book tale.

A huge budget production, rich in special effects and riding an out-of-this-world fantasy storyline.

Brandon Routh bears an uncanny resemblance to Christopher Reeve, the Superman I remember.

All the familiar characters were there, just updated for the 21st-century audience. Superman’s ‘mother’ in her prairies farmhouse; Louis Lane, the determined reporter (a modern, feminist reinterpretation); Perry White the ebullient newspaperman and Jimmy White the bow-tied junior hack.

Clark Kent is the socially awkward office geek. Clumsily tripping over things and stammering through conversations. But, with that famous cape and boots he takes to the skies as the ultimate super-hero.

This is a uniquely American story.

At one point Superman is even depicted patrolling the skies over New York, in an eerie echo of the fighter jets over the city on 9/11. 

Had America only had Superman and the reassuring certainties of his world that day, everything might, just might, have been alright…

Wieden + Kennedy…

Just been sent this on email.

Either W+K are desperate to find a new creative or it’s a cunning ruse to get people talking (and blogging) about their little recruitment drive.

Or perhaps it was destined for a posh Tesco in Hampstead !

Guess it saves on those pesky headhunter fees !

Again, very good !

A Horse’s Arse and the Space Programme

Did you know one of the most advanced features of the US Space Programme was determined by the width of a horse’s arse.

The axel width of Roman chariots was two horse arses wide. Over time, the chariot wheels dug deep ruts in the roads. All subsequent chariots, carts and later carriages had to stick to that same axel width to ensure the wheels turned in the well established ruts. Longer axels would wreck the vehicle as one wheel rode in the rut and the other bumped along the bank.

English carriage makers therefore standardised their axel design to the old Roman rut widths. With the industrial revolution, carriage makers made trams and then trains. They did so using the tools and measurements of their trade.

English engineers went on to build the American railways. They did so using their old measurements. American railway tracks are therefore 4 feet, 8 1/2 inches apart. This measurement came from those old Roman roads.

Now, think of that space shuttle. One of the fastest and most technically advanced vehicles around. Each shuttle has two giant booster rockets attached to the main fuel tank. These are called solid rocket boosters, or SRBs.

Well, the SRBs had to be shipped by train from the factory to the launch pad. The railway line goes through a mountain tunnel which is slightly wider than the railway tracks. The rocket designers wanted bigger boosters, but were restricted by the width of that tunnel.

So a principle design feature of the US space programme was originally determined by the width of a horse’s arse…

Adds a whole new meaning to the term legacy systems !

Ouch, my dodgy little tooth

Ouch, my dodgy little tooth has finally given up and is about to fall out. By some genetic quirk I have too few teeth and one or two baby teeth are still hanging in there. My Dad has the same problem.

Anyway, this loose old tooth has to go. I’ve got two options:

• try and find a nice dentist to do a clinical extraction and present me with a hefty bill for the privilege

or

• pull the fucker out myself

So, here’s the plan. I buy a big bottle of whiskey. Drink half. Pull out the damn tooth. Drink the other half. Hey presto and the tooth is gone and I barely remember the experience. Hmmmm… maybe not.

Anyway, I guess I’ll wiggle it loose and ease the little devil out. Wish me luck…

Oh, I found a really cool little stone on the beach today. It’s got a face on it. I’ll try and take a pic and post it.

On the way to work

On the way to work this morning the train stopped suddenly. It was very hot and people soon started fanning their faces and calling on mobiles.

I didn’t think much of it at first. Trains stop on red lights all the time. But, this time, we sat there for ages. The guard eventually announced we had stopped on a red light and he didn’t know why.

This was unusual, and for more than a brief moment, I contemplated the worst. Had an attack happened somewhere on the rail network ? Within minutes we could hear lots of sirens. It didn’t sound good and, with the 7/7 anniversary so close, was pretty unnerving.

The guard came on again to say a small fire ahead of us was causing the delay and the fire brigade were on the scene. Within 10 minutes we were on our way and the incident was soon forgotten.

However, it was a stark reminder of how on-edge London is. Police, politicians and security experts continuously use the word ‘inevitable’ when describing the likelihood of another attack on London. On one level it’s scary thinking a deranged suicide bomber could step into your carriage at any moment. However, I’m on the train everyday and never give it thought.

I guess it’s a numbers game at the end of the day. The probability of it being my train and my carriage is small and the likelihood seems very very remote. It simply wouldn’t occur to me not to commute by train for fear of a terrorist attack. However, little incidents like this morning do make you think.

In the past 2 weeks

In the past 2 weeks I’ve…

• driven 300 miles
• been snapped by a speed camera… grrr
• enjoyed the sunshine
• spoken at the Broadcast Live 2006 Exhibition at Earl’s Court
• flown 600 miles
• given the reading at a very sad family funeral
• been to Stowe Gardens
• got depressed about house prices (a recurring theme !)
• been to Belfast twice
• started a diet (not sure how long that will last)
• spent hours on the phone sorting out other people’s computer problems (another recurring theme)
• started playing online chess matches with an old chess rival. *You won’t believe I got the King and Queen pieces mixed up and am on the verge of losing the first game… doh !*